I probably should have saved the Max Martin lovefest for this week’s chart post, as he (and, of course, Dr. Luke) now have four songs in the Top 10 of Billboard’s Hot 100. Jason Derulo’s “Ridin’ Solo” and Drake’s “Find Your Love” drop out, making room for Usher’s “DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love” (#9) and Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” (#7).
Other big movers include New Queen Of Soul Ke$ha, whose latest, “Take It Off,” flies up 40 positions to #52. You can watch the video for that trash jam here. Adam Lambert’s “If I Had You” also begins to make some headway, as it moves up 13 positions to #56.
And way down at the lower end of the chart, Rihanna debuts at #99 with “Rockstar 101.” Oh, Ri Ri—you can just stay right there with that slice of ear death.
Over on the Dance/Club Play Songs roundup, Kylie Minogue’s “All…
Jesus. I had no idea Adam Lambert's album For You Entertainment had yet to be released overseas. And the UK is getting a far more scandaltastic CD cover than we did here in the States—though it's basically a variation on the U.S. single cover art for the title track.
Just imagine all you lady Glambertzon fans, the damage that could be done with those naughty finger cuffs. It'd be like a trench digger scraping out a new irrigation ditch up your Hot Pocket!
Anyway, congrats again to America's Favorite Singing Gay for going Top 10 this week with "Whataya Want From Me." Following Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You," Pink's "Please Don't Leave Me" and Britney Spears' "If U Seek Amy" and "3," it's also writer-producer Max Martin's fifth hit in the past year or so.
Hmmm. I bet Britney has a set of those cuffs, too...
The other day I posted that Kelly Clarkson's upcoming fourth studio album would be called Masquerade. Yeah, well, that's the last time I ever post on rumor, hearsay or utter poppycock!
Well, maybe I'll still do poppycock.
Kelly's album is called All I Ever Wanted. She revealed the art on her official website. Like, she got on there herself and did it, because she has absolutely nothing better to do than write posts for her site.
Actually, this is Kelly Clarkson writing this now. You never knew it was actually me behind these hazel eyes, did you? Do you like my hair extensions on my new album cover?
Alright, it's not really Kelly. Suckers. I finally heard a clip of "My Life Would Suck Without You," and while I had initially balked at the "Since U Been Gone" comparisons, I gotta say, it's pretty exuberant.
It kinda makes me want to run off a cliff with a daffodil in my mouth. I'm glad Max Martin and Dr. Luke held back their best jam in years from Pink, Britney and Katy Perry for Kelly.
Because now we can just assume Clive Davis fucks for tracks.
Wow! Who'd-a-thought we'd ever see the day where there'd be another Max Martin-produced Britney Spears single? The provocatively-titled (read: slutwhore-ish!) "If U Seek Amy" has just been announced as the third single off Britney's Circus.
Circus slides from #3 to #6 on new Billboard Top 200 Albums chart, the trade publication announced today.
And I know I posted that "If U Seek Amy" should've been the first single awhile back, but now I'm wishing "Unusual You" would've gotten a release before it.
Actually, come to think of it, I haven't listened to this album since before Christmas. It's all about The Saturdays now!
Kelly Clarkson's new album is called Masquerade, and it'll be released March 17. First single "My Life Would Suck Without You" being produced by Max Martin and Dr. Luke? Yaaaaayyy!
Kelly working with Ryan Tedder on the rest of the album? Groooaaan. Don't get me wrong...OneRepublic's "Apologize"? Total jam. And a few of the Blake Lewis songs, failed though that project did, were great.
But Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love" proved that Ryan Tedder can be bland and boring as hell when the money is right, and something tells me Clive Davis is shoving $100 bills down Ryan's jock with his tongue to make Kelly have a hit again.
Oh, well...positive thoughts.
Incidentally, Pet Shop Boys' Yes will be released a week later. It's shaping up to be a sexy spring 2009!
Below is a clip of Clive Davis and Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald briefly playing a rough demo of "My Life Would Suck Without You" for Bill Maher on Iconclasts, back in November:
Aunt Clive doesn't have his geriatric snatch bag in a twist here, so he and Kelly must've scissored and made up...?
Katy Perry's video for "Hot N Cold" has finally surfaced. This trash single is currently #9 on Billboard's Hot 100, and it gives Max Martin two writing credits in the U.S. Top 10 (along with Pink's "So What," at #2).
Somehow the need to justify talking about Katy Perry by mentioning Max Martin is always there. Why is that?
Anyway, here's the vid:
The only thing that would have made this better is if a triceratops jumped out of Katy's wedding cake and rammed its horn up her registry.
Pop kittens, D'luv flew to Austin, Texas, at an hour so un-Godly this morning that Courtney Love probably still hasn't rolled in yet from whatever crack-ditch she was holed up at all night back in L.A.—and it's almost 4 p.m. here.
Did that make sense? I don't think, but the booze is helping. I'm sitting in my fave Austin cafe/bar, The Spider House, where it's scruffy indie hipster central...where the all the boys look like they're in a band, and where all the girls look like they're boys.
In other words, I find myself blurting out, "Mom?!?" a lot here. It's a D'luvvly weekend of visiting my pal (and frequent Chart Rigger commenter) numbfromdrugs in grad school and hitting the Austin City Limits festival. (Somewhat disappointing lineup this year—Duffy canceled, but MGMT should be cool.)
So this week's Billboard Hot 100 chart: Pink! What happened? Can I get a "Holla!" on why all pop songs that hit #1 only seem to stay there for a solitary week, while we get Flo Rida and Soulja Boy dry-humping Fred Bronson for 13 weeks to stay on top?
Fuck if "So What" didn't drop to #2, and T.I.'s crap jam went back up. At least David Archuleta sucked off the right execs for "Crush" to hop from #30-something to #15 this week. Well, okay, it probably had more to do with the video arriving on iTunes and America's cougars downloading it to add an extra zing to their nightly vibe session.
Oh, that Kanye West "Love Lockdown" (#3 debut)...kinda okay? Ah, fuck it. At least maestro Max Martin's got two songs in the Top 10, with Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold" at #9 and Pink. (What is this, 1999?)
That said, thanks for the all the kindness on the Pet Shop Boysanniversary post for Very. You all rawk! It got some link-love from other sites, as well, so thanks to those broads, too!
Oh, well...thank Christ for tequila.
The U.S. Top 10:
1. "Whatever You Like" - T.I.*4 weeks* *airplay gainer* 2. "So What" - Pink 3."Love Lockdown'" - Kanye West *new* *hot shot debut* 4. "Disturbia" - Rihanna 5. "Love Story'" - Taylor Swift 6. "Paper Planes'" - M.I.A 7. "Closer'" - Ne-Yo 8. "Can't Believe It'" - T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne 9. "Hot N Cold" - Katy Perry 10. "American Boy" - Estelle feat. Kanye West
