New Kids On The Block have yet another goddamn greatest hits coming out—or rather, that Sony is throwing out to cash in on the old fuckers whoring themselves out on the road again—on August 12.I wouldn’t masturbate on this trash if it made blind children see.Among the 18 re-heated “hits” are “Please Don’t Go Girl,” “Cover Girl,” “Valentine Girl” and “My Favorite Girl.” Girl, please!There’s also a New Kids megamix, which you’ll probably want to push a rusty, 12-inch railroad tie through your eardrum to while listening.But really, looking forward to this.

It’s a goddamn Jonas invasion in the Top 10 of Billboard’s Hot 100, as the Jonas Brothers’ “Burnin’ Up” is the week’s Hot Shot Debut at #5, and Joe Jonas’ duet with Demi Lovato, “This Is Me,” moves up to #9.And, yeah, I said “goddamn,” and hopefully those virgin Christian Jonases start foaming at the mouth because of it. But not before Katy Perry Rabbits herself on top of their mom. Keep it Disney, kids!So what’s up with the Pussycat Dolls? Anytime that pack of strippers gets knocked out of the Top 10 after only one week by the Jonas twits, it’s a sad day in America. That said, make sure you all go out and vote this year, luvs. Just base your choice on which candidate you think would tip better for a lapdance by the Pussycat Dolls. No, not the Republican…!I forgot to mention last week that Natasha…

This New Kids On The Block reunion thing is still happening, then? And now they’ve dragged New Edition into it (albeit minus rogue member Bobby Brown)?So news was abuzz yesterday that four of the original New Edition-ers went into a studio to record “Full Service,” a track written by Donnie Wahlberg, Lady GaGa and RedOne for the New Kids’ forthcoming fall album. If “Full Service” is anywhere as exciting as “Summertime,” I’ll opt for tranquilizers, instead.But, hello — RedOne — Heidi Montag’s producer! (Not to mention he’s working on someone named Michael Jackson’s new album.) Maybe this will be good.RedOne spoke about “Full Service” to People:”It sounds very universal and melodic and has both sides in it: The R&B, which is New Edition and the pop side for New Kids. It’s very uplifting. Right away you start feeling good and every part feels natural to each one of the guys….

As strange as it sounds, before Coldplay this week, James Blunt and Leona Lewis were the only other U.K. acts to top the Billboard Hot 100 in the ’00s, with “You’re Beautiful” and “Bleeding Love,” respectively. Now “Viva La Vida” can be thrown into that elite club. Thank Apple (the company, not Chris Martin’s daughter), who’ve used the song in an ad campaign.But doesn’t Coldplay just seem like one of those bands that, despite their über-popularity, would never have a #1 single? They’re like Radiohead — their albums will top the charts, but a giant, across-the-boards hit single…and one on Top 40 radio, to boot? It couldn’t happen here.Apparently it did, though. “Viva La Vida” looks set to top the U.K. chart this Sunday, as well. Meanwhile, the same-titled album sold over 300,000 copies on its first day of release here in the States, and Billboard is predicting it’ll end…