Alright, folks, it's a new year and a new outlook. Who cares if the world is falling apart now more than ever? Lady GaGa has a smash hit on her hands!
This week "Just Dance" creeps up from #3 to #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. Lady GaGa, doesn't your man-in-a-wig ass know that #2 is dangerous territory for a newcomer pop/dance diva? Just ask Donna Lewis, Jane Child or Nicki French. They all landed there, had a brief celebratory time in the sun, then were taken to the pop firing range and put down.
Time will tell with this broad, though. One interesting point of note is that "Just Dance" was released a full nine months ago in the States. Are we thinking the same thing? Yep, Lady could have gotten knocked up and shot a kid out by now.
Now, what I'd like to know is how the Pussycat Dolls managed to have another hit! "I Hate This Part" is up from #32 to #21. I heard this song several times while back in Pittsburgh over the holidays, and while it might pass for entertainment in that neck of the woods...
Hmmm. Well, admittedly, it is the one song I kept on my iPod from the horrendous Doll Domination album. But after "Whatcha Think About That"—the one where Missy Elliot says she wants to chew Katy Perry's tuna casserole or something—failed to chart in the Hot 100, I thought these strippers were taken out to the Vegas desert and pushed off a cliff.
"I Hate This Part" is PCD's seventh U.S. Top 40 hit.
Other trash of mention: The Veronicas are up to #29 with "Untouched," Pink is at #35 with "Sober" and Metro Station is #42 with "Seventeen Forever."
God, if I was 17 forever, I'd still be a virgin listening to Cathy Dennis cassette singles. Which wouldn't be so bad if I still had a tape player.
Finally, 15-year-old Miranda Cosgrove's cover of Sugababes' "About You Now" debuts at #51. She performed her by-the-numbers version at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and apparently the tween nation went hog wild and began downloading it. Miranda's "About You Now" appears on the soundtrack of her hit Nickelodeon TV show, iCarly.
Hey, let's watch Madtv's parody of Mariah Carey's "Heartbreaker"! (You gotta watch till the very end for the true payoff.)
Way down at #40, my girlfriends the Veronicas land their first U.S. Top 40 hit with "Untouched." I say they're my girlfriends because we spent a day hanging out together three years ago, talking about boys. Oh, yeah—we're tight. If you go hunting on here, you can see a pic of us chillin', doing things that BFFs do.
Yeah, I'm not re-posting that photo. I look like hell, and those bitches didn't have the courtesy to tell me so. That's why we're not friends anymore.
Oh, they still call. But, you know...I'm kind of too busy these days.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, retail-wise. This marks the first week in 2008 that all 10 albums in the uppier tier of Billboard's Top 200 sold more than 100,000 copies.
And the top three positions are dominated by pop's broads:
What's crazy is that in about two weeks time, Britney's Circus will have sold more copies in the U.S. than Blackout has since it came out in October 2007. Keep dancing, puppet!
Meanwhile, that above middle photo of B.S. is from Glamour magazine. Do you think it was purposely styled to make her look like she's in a straightjacket?
Ultimately, it'll be interesting to see how her upcoming double album performs in these times when albums are by and large being met with disappointing returns. Will she be like Alicia Keys last year this time—huge lead single, decent sales during the holidays, then a complete disappearing act?
By all, means, T.I., let everyone get out of the way so your damn "Whatever You Like" garbage can spend another week at #1!
Thrice has "Whatever You Like" been interrupted during its stint atop the chart in the past month—by Pink's "So What," T.I.'s own "Live Your Life" and Britney Spears' "Womanizer." Resitance seems to be futile, however.
Meanwhile, when Christina Aguilera woke up this morning, started slathering on the war paint then got the call that "Keeps Gettin' Better" has flizz-opped down to #27 in its third week on the Hot 100, she probably shrieked in three octaves and accidentally jammed her Lipfusion Beach Baby Bling stick through her eyesocket. Dirrty!
On the album chart, Keane's Perfect Symmetry debuts at #7 with sales of 43,000. It's probably fair to say that at this point, when no LP released this year has sold more than two million copies, the album as we know it is no longer a saleable commodity.
The U.S. Top 10: 1."Whatever You Like" - T.I. *6 weeks* 2. "Live Your Life" - T.I. feat. Rihanna *airplay gainer* 3. "So What" - Pink 4. "Womanizer" - Britney Spears 5. "Hot N Cold" - Katy Perry 6. "Disturbia" - Rihanna 7. "Let It Rock'" - Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne 8. "Miss Independent" - Ne-Yo 9. "Fearless'" - Taylor Swift *new* *hot shot debut* 10. "Can't Believe It'" - T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne
These are the weeks that give D'luv the tingles in his whizz-wack; the weeks where a big sledgehammer of new releases comes along and busts things up on Billboard's Hot 100.
First up, T.I. replaces himself at #1 with "Live Your Life," a duet with Rihanna. Not only did the song set a record by jumping from #80 to #1—thanks to T.I.'s Paper Trail being released last week—but it also gives Rihanna her fifth U.S. #1, and T.I. his third.
Next up is Christina Aguilera, who achieves her seventh solo U.S. Top 10 hit with "Keeps Gettin' Better," which debuts at #7. I like the dancey direction you're returning to, Xtina. Don't fuck this next album up, now, doll.
Nickelback debut at #10 with with "Gotta Be Somebody." Looks like all the Z-grade, Bush supporting hicks who pick cigarette butts out of a dumpster and shove them up their asses are still multiplying, and their spawn have iTunes accounts. Hooray for white trash!
The Killers enter the chart at #32 with "Human," giving them their third U.S. Top 40 single after "Mr. Brightside" (#10, 2005) and "When You Were Young" (#14, 2006). The cover art for the band's upcoming Day & Age album was unveiled yesterday.
Oh, yeah...how could I forget David Cook's run-of-the-mill "Light On" debuting at #17? Sorry, superstar, but you're no David Archuleta.
Finally, since it's an Aguilera kind of week, let's revisit Christina's 2001 duet with Ricky Martin, the much underrated "Nobody Wants To Be Lonely":
That's right, Ricky—shake that ass, girl!
The U.S. Top 10:
1. "Live Your Life" - T.I. feat. Rihanna*1 week* *airplay gainer* 2."Whatever You Like" - T.I. 3. "So What" - Pink 4. "Disturbia" - Rihanna 5. "Let It Rock'" - Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne *sales gainer* 6. "Hot N Cold" - Katy Perry 7. "Keeps Gettin' Better'" - Christina Aguilera *new* 8. "Can't Believe It'" - T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne 9. "Paper Planes'" - M.I.A 10. "Gotta Be Somebody" - Nickelback *new*
There isn't one single in the Top 10 of Billboard's Hot 100 this week that drops out. Below that, Ne-Yo's "Miss Independent" rises to #11, Gavin Rossdale's "Love Remains The Same" is up to #27 and Jennifer Hudson's "Spotlight" finally cracks the Top 40 at #36. Complete snooze.
So let's then turn our attention to the album chart, where Pussycat Dolls appear to have used up about eight of their nine lives at this point.
Pussycat D'luv previously pointed out that this album might be troubled, and some commenter tried to give the sass. Alas, all stripper poles start to rust after awhile...a thought that even makes me want to hurl.
Doll Domination enters the album chart at #4 this week, with dismal sales of only 79,000. By comparison, Metallica's Death Magnetic has already been out three weeks, but still sold over 53,000 more copies than the Pussycat Dolls did.
It's kind of a good point to make (again): radio can shove an abysmal single like "When I Grow Up" down listeners throats and it might go Top 10—and just barely in this case—but when it comes time for consumers to pony up cash for a whole album, those 30-second clips on iTunes had better sound damn good.
The U.S. Top 10:
1. "Whatever You Like" - T.I.*5 weeks* *airplay gainer* 2. "So What" - Pink 3."Love Lockdown'" - Kanye West 4. "Disturbia" - Rihanna 5. "Paper Planes'" - M.I.A 6. "Hot N Cold" - Katy Perry 7. "Can't Believe It'" - T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne 8. "Closer'" - Ne-Yo 9. "Love Story'" - Taylor Swift 10. "American Boy" - Estelle feat. Kanye West
Pop kittens, D'luv flew to Austin, Texas, at an hour so un-Godly this morning that Courtney Love probably still hasn't rolled in yet from whatever crack-ditch she was holed up at all night back in L.A.—and it's almost 4 p.m. here.
Did that make sense? I don't think, but the booze is helping. I'm sitting in my fave Austin cafe/bar, The Spider House, where it's scruffy indie hipster central...where the all the boys look like they're in a band, and where all the girls look like they're boys.
In other words, I find myself blurting out, "Mom?!?" a lot here. It's a D'luvvly weekend of visiting my pal (and frequent Chart Rigger commenter) numbfromdrugs in grad school and hitting the Austin City Limits festival. (Somewhat disappointing lineup this year—Duffy canceled, but MGMT should be cool.)
So this week's Billboard Hot 100 chart: Pink! What happened? Can I get a "Holla!" on why all pop songs that hit #1 only seem to stay there for a solitary week, while we get Flo Rida and Soulja Boy dry-humping Fred Bronson for 13 weeks to stay on top?
Fuck if "So What" didn't drop to #2, and T.I.'s crap jam went back up. At least David Archuleta sucked off the right execs for "Crush" to hop from #30-something to #15 this week. Well, okay, it probably had more to do with the video arriving on iTunes and America's cougars downloading it to add an extra zing to their nightly vibe session.
Oh, that Kanye West "Love Lockdown" (#3 debut)...kinda okay? Ah, fuck it. At least maestro Max Martin's got two songs in the Top 10, with Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold" at #9 and Pink. (What is this, 1999?)
That said, thanks for the all the kindness on the Pet Shop Boysanniversary post for Very. You all rawk! It got some link-love from other sites, as well, so thanks to those broads, too!
Oh, well...thank Christ for tequila.
The U.S. Top 10:
1. "Whatever You Like" - T.I.*4 weeks* *airplay gainer* 2. "So What" - Pink 3."Love Lockdown'" - Kanye West *new* *hot shot debut* 4. "Disturbia" - Rihanna 5. "Love Story'" - Taylor Swift 6. "Paper Planes'" - M.I.A 7. "Closer'" - Ne-Yo 8. "Can't Believe It'" - T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne 9. "Hot N Cold" - Katy Perry 10. "American Boy" - Estelle feat. Kanye West
Alright, folks, it's a new year and a new outlook. Who cares if the world is falling apart now more than ever? Lady GaGa has a smash hit on her hands!
Now, what I'd like to know is how the Pussycat Dolls managed to have another hit! "I Hate This Part" is up from #32 to #21. I heard this song several times while back in Pittsburgh over the holidays, and while it might pass for entertainment in that neck of the woods...
"I Hate This Part" is PCD's seventh U.S. Top 40 hit.
