Blargh! Katy Perry’s piece of summer treacle “California Gurls” has now asserted itself at the top of the UK chart like a prize whore taking the dominant position with a skittish john on a ripped up mattress in the alley behind a Holiday Inn.

But enough about that creamy slut! Kylie Minogue’s “All The Lovers” hangs in there like a pert-assed trooper this week, only dropping two positions to #6. Kylie has been ramping up the promo blitz ahead of the release of Aphrodite by appearing on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross on, well, Friday, and surprising the crowd at Glastonbury yesterday by performing with Scissor Sisters. She needs to fly back to her homeland, though—”All The Lovers” debuted at #14 in Australia (betraying HATERS!!) last week and has now dropped to #22 there.

And speaking of Scissor Sisters and flops, their lead single off Night Work, “Fire With Fire,” debuts at…

Based on downloads alone (physical release next Monday), Kylie Minogue’s first Aphrodite single “All The Lovers” charts this week at #4 in the UK. Damn the football anthems!

So far it’s Kylie’s highest-charting song since “2 Hearts” went in at #4 in November 2007 (see: A History Of Kylie Minogue At #4). In Australia, “All The Lovers” debuts at #14. (Haters—turning on one of their own!) At least it went to #1 in Belgium, where the ball and chain is jetting off to on Tuesday!

By my count—and granted, I had a lot to drink last night—”All The Lovers” marks Kylie’s 26th Top 5 single in England, if we include the Robbie Williams duet “Kids.” We’re also one month shy of when Kylie made her major return to pop divadom 10 years ago with “Spinning Around.” Bitches need to keep downloading and then go buy that CD single when it comes out….

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It’s better late than never with La Roux. I joked on April Fool’s Day that the British duo managed to climb to #12 on the Billboard Hot 100 with their single “Bulletproof”—thinking then such a feat seemed like a long shot. But two months later, the former 2009 UK #1 is a bona fide U.S. Top 10 hit, as it now finds itself parked at #8. Never thought it would happen.

But at least La Roux aren’t as Johnny-come-lately as Will Young, whose 2003 UK #1 “Leave Right Now” debuts at #81, after his live performance of the ballad during American Idol’s finale week.

And speaking of Idol, this year’s winner Lee DeWyze has posted the worst debut ever for a lead single from a reigning contestant. His lackluster of “Beautiful Day” sounded dreary when he performed it on the show, and so it’s no surprise that the recorded version of it…

Between the passion of the Glamazons and a few fiery diatribes that came in when I expressed my disinterest in the new Scissor Sisters video, I figured it was time again for another d’luvvly roundup of the bitchiest reader comments! Last year’s compilation was such a classy hit, plus you’ve all bared your barbed tongues at some point or other over the past 12 months. And I really have to say, thanks for the laughs—you effing bitches.

****** Anonymous on Move Over, Rihanna—Adam Lambert’s In The Lead For Most Boring Song Of The Year: “Die in a fire you insufferable prick.”

* solray9 on Lady Gaga: 4, Madonna: 0: “[Lady Gaga] looks like my 88-year-old incapacitated grandmother before she died and after she’d lost most of her teeth.”

* Joshua on Chart Rigger Turns Five!: “Yeah, with the amount of useless drivel you post on an almost daily basis, I, too, am…

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Christina Aguilera and her son Max, 2, make a color-coordinated duo during an outing in New York City .Source: Splash

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